Kentucky Fried Chicken

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

WELCOME TO THE KFC FUNNIES...

Where only the best will do!

lol

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

Stay tuned tomorrow for the Alien Saga - Part III!!!!

"Colonel Sanders' Cane Comes In Handy!"

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

Part III

"Colonel Sanders' Cane Came In Handy!"

Where we left off was the green aliens went back into time to the
year 1956... to Corbin, KY!

They just landed in a nearby field outside the Kentucky Fried Chicken
restaurant where Colonel Sanders and his employees were waiting
for them!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Aliens slimed their way to the metal back door... then suddenly,
one of the aliens pulling out a shiny looking laser... aimed directly at the
door and the door was dissolved to nothing.

Susie, one of the employees let out a loud scream and Colonel Sanders
hit one of those aliens with his cane right between his antennas while
knocking him to the ground. His cane got broken so the employees
helped The Colonel into the freezer and they shut the door.

More aliens entered the store and soon the store was flooded with these
green creatures. They began to look for what they came after...
a bag of their genuine Kentucky Fried Chicken Spice Mix!!!!

Meanwhile, inside the freezer... Colonel Sanders tried to keep everyone
calm and quiet while hoping the aliens wouldn't come after them with
their lasers!!!! Minutes went by and everyone was getting cold...
The Colonel decided to open the door and take a look...
The store was completely empty except for a customer demanding his
bucket of fried chicken at the front counter!

Later that night... Colonel Sanders after doing an inventory, discovered
a spice bag was missing and he just shook his head in total disbelief.
So he turned on the radio and sat back and listen to Buddy Holly...
wondering if those aliens would ever come back? At least, his cane
came in handy! He learned a lesson that day... that everyone loves his
chicken and he decided to expand even more!

Up in the deep space... the alien ship traveled back to their own time and
and replicated the ingredients to feed their entire home world.
They just couldn't get it in earth's year 2009!

So they lived happily ever after...

until...

The End

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

Think smarter... be smarter...

But most of all... have courtesy for others...

Then we might get the Secret Recipe!

Smile

The Colonel · Site Admin Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 1422

lol

That's one great story Ellsworth! I've still got a smile of my face! Smile

Whenever yer free next, feel free to write more!!!

We need to laugh as we think about the seriousness of actually cracking the O.R code! Shocked

_________________
The Colonel

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

Thanks Colonel! I will do my best...

Ellsworth

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

TCK News Flash!

The Colonel has just created the awesome...

Pressure Cooker Information Database

Everything you want to know about your Pressure Cooker and more! Smile

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

TCK News Flash!

Tommy Settle finally said enough was enough and started
reciting the Colonel Sanders' diary yesterday!!!!

Reporters from around the globe flocked to the Settle's house,
hoping to hear if he will recite the 11 Herbs and Spices recipe that
caused a storm back in 2001 when Tommy and Cherry found
Colonel Sanders' diary in an old mansion once owned by Colonel Sanders!!!!

Tommy also said "No about of money can keep me and Cherry quiet!
The time is now to let it be known!"

As you know... KFC took Tommy and his lovely wife Cherry to court because
KFC thought they discovered the Secret Recipe. Later, KFC
said the recipe found by the Settles was nothing but a stuffing recipe!

Did you say... "Stuffing"????? Wink

Tommy fired back with "This is not a stuffing recipe because it's has
alot of Ginger in it? The actual words can be found here at TCK
under Blackwood Hall, the Settles & the Lost Diary of Colonel Sanders!!!!

Only registered users can see links on this forum!
Register or Login on forum!

After the lawsuit was over... Not a peek was heard from the Settles since then.
Many speculated they took the money and ran!

Not anymore folks!

Stay tuned tomorrow when Tommy opens his front door to the reporters and says...

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

The sun always shines on "The Colonel's Kitchen"!!!!

Because all walks of life from around the World are watching us now so...

Smile! And say Kentucky Fried Chickeen!!!!! Very Happy

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

We have 421 registered users

Will YOU be the 422 registered user?????

Register today!!!!

You will be glad you did!

Everyone here are friends!

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

WHERE ONLY THE BEST WILL DO!

The Colonel · Site Admin Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 1422

Cor Ellsworth! I WISH the Settles would speak up... but alas... I guess in the end they figured a coupla million bucks wouldn't go astray, and decided to just keep quiet... *sigh.

But still, Ell seems to have a camera on the ground with a media crew in-waiting, right in front of the Settles' mansion!... What will they say to the media?! What glorious revelation regarding that wondrous, wistfully brilliant, bitingly delicious recipe belonging to Colonel Harland David Sanders will Tommy reveal?!

I can't wait! Shocked

_________________
The Colonel

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

All the reporters from around the world were standing outside the door of
The Settle's Mansion... just waiting... waiting for Tommy to recite
more of the Colonel Sanders' Diary...

Suddenly, the door opened and Tommy came out to greet everyone...

Tommy said, "Me and my wife still believe the recipe is the Secret Recipe
of Colonel Sanders and I am ready to read off the ingredients from his
diary!"

All the reporters moved closer in to hear every word with their
cameras zooming on Mr. Settle!

Tommy paused for a moment while looking for the page...

It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop!

Not a word was spoken from the reporters...

Suddenly, a limo pulled up the driveway and an Aussie gentleman ran
to the door while shoving the reporters to one side... and snatched
the Diary right out of Tommy's hand and ran back to his limousine
and the limo sped off!

Chaos filled the air!

Tommy ran down the street yelling after the limo but the limo was
gone!

All the reporters rushed to Tommy for any comments and Tommy just
stood there and let out a yelp.... "Did anyone get that license plate?"

News really do travel fast... CNN broadcast it live and showed close ups on
the Aussie gentleman... it appeared that the gentleman was smiling
when he took the Diary!

A week later... here at TCK... The Colonel broadcasted to everyone
that he has the Diary and he was going to read the Secret Recipe!

The Colonel said....

(It's your turn Colonel to fill in the blank!)

lol

The Colonel · Site Admin Joined: 18 Jun 2006 Posts: 1422

G'day one an' all! Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi! Oi! Oi! Very Happy

I have an announcement to make here at TCK! I have in my possession a certain "diary"... and from page 52, I will read the following list of 11 spices and herbs!

YES! It is THAT recipe!

Hear ye! Hear Ye!

White Pepper!

*Pause for effect..............

Black Pepper!!

...........

Sage!!!

.............

Coriander!!!

......................

Mustard!!!!

............................

Celery Seeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!!!

............................... *cough... *cough..///

Ginger!!!!!!!!

................................ *ring *ring*............

......... *ring *ring......

Hangon guys! My phone's ringing, I'll just hafta answer it! Back soon to reveal the final 4 ingredients!!!

"Hello, this is the Colonel of TCK speaking, how can I be of assistance?

"Umm, hello, my name is Jonathon Boarboch, and I am calling on behalf of the KFC Corporation with a proposal which we feel you might be interested in..."

"Oh really, pray tell, and what might that be?"

"Well, as you well know - hehe, or you may not! *snort! snort! - we have been watching your web-forum for some time now... umm... and we've been watching you crack the code, one spice at a time... and well, gosh damn! You actually had it, and we were content to say nothing, but then you HAD to steal the Settles' Diary, and well.... Aww screw it! Colonel, we'd like to give you one million dollars to close your forum down tonight, and to hand back the diary... What say you?"

"Um..... well.... you see..."

What will the Colonel say?! Will he stay true to his values? Will he live up to his reputation as a fierce O.R Replicator who has always vowed to crack the secret code of Colonel Sanders, and never bow down to Corporate greed?!

What will he do?

*And it's back to you in the studio Ellsworth: Very Happy

_________________
The Colonel

Ellsworth · Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 2919

What will the Colonel say?!

Will he stay true to his values?

Will he live up to his reputation as a fierce O.R Replicator who has always
vowed to crack the secret code of Colonel Sanders, and never bow down
to Corporate greed?!

What will he do?

Then suddenly! The Colonel had an idea Exclamation

Then he said, "Everyone, I have some news! We are going to have a
contest to see who can guess the rest of the ingredients in this
Colonel Sanders' Diary!!!! I will announce the winner in a week!

Everyone started posting their guesses to the missing ingredients...
Everyone was so excited!

Meanwhile, The Colonel waiting by his mailbox everyday, hoping to
get the hush money from KFC...

Then the KFC check came!!!!! One million dollars!!!! The Colonel was a millionaire!!!

The week finally came and The Colonel made an announcement to
one and all!!!

The Colonel being true to his word and being an honorable man...
but he was noone's fool...

Finally the post that everyone was waiting for... was posted by The Colonel!

The Colonel said... "The remaining ingredients are...

Garlic!

Cayenne!

Then the phone rang again....

Take from here Colonel! Laughing